Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Packing away the last 2 years


The last two years have been a steep hill to climb.  At best I'm not someone who shares my intimate emotions during the tougher times in my lifes journey but online friends may have noticed that my blog posts became fewer and fewer and then in May 2014 they stopped.

Shortly after my last blog post in May 2014 and without warning, my domestic life underwent a sudden and radical change away from everything familiar into a new-to-me one bedroom flat that needed a whole lot of work.  Supported and assisted morally by my manager at work, the flat went from black bags on windows for privacy, a mattrass topper for a bed, rolled up jacket for pillow and a quilt for bedding to slowly but surely being styled into a home with gifts from well wishers.  It took a while but I 'was allowed' to collect some of my personal possessions and sewing stuff from my former home.  Very importantly Meisie moved with me.

The best gift was a female friend taking the time to teach me to strip old wallpaper and, choose, measure, cut, paste and put up the new wallpaper.

This same friend and I shared breakfast at a popular drive through take away and made copious lists of what I need to get and as finances allowed we went shopping for kettle, toaster, cutlery, crockery, glasses, fridge, washing machine, microwave, vacuum cleaner and cleaning products. 

In many ways the whole process felt like a cleansing but its hard to let go when you're not ready.

Mom, taken 15 Feb 2008
Then in March this year Mom lost her battle with cancer.  She had really fought hard.  Devastatingly neither my sister nor I were able to be with her nor attend her memorial service in South Africa.  I really struggled psychologically with not being able to be there for her especially as this is my day to day job here in England.  Then to add insult to injury we (my sister and I) found that the legal side of Moms passing was not going according to law and realised we had to travel there to find out what was going on.

Enman and Harry, taken July 2011

As I slowly adjusted to not being able to just text or email or phone Mom, Enman  unexpectedly and suddenly passed away at the beginning of September 2015.  Even though we were no longer companions, I was very saddened.  You don't share so many years in someones company without having some good experiences and memories.

At the beginning of this month my sister and I travelled from UK to SA.  It was a 'working' trip and we worked hard at getting through our list of to-do's.   After 18 days of sun filled and warm days during which we methodically played investigators and mediators,  I finished my last chore at 01.30 on my last day in South Africa and flew out a few hours later.  We were able to collect both Dad and Moms ashes and spread them in the Helderberg Nature Reserve  which starts at the foot of the Helderberg Mountains in our old home town.  We were also able to salvage and collect a few precious items and photographs that we have brought back to England with us.

Mom had fostered Rosie (my Rosebud doll) and made her a wardrobe of clothes.

There have been some fantastic highs such as when I got to meet and chat with Kaffe Fassett and Brendan Mably at Festival of Quilts 2015.

In two days time 2015 comes to an end and I very much want to close the gate to this emotional roller coaster ride I've been on and start the new year with a fresh and optimistic view.  No-one knows where 2016 is going to take us but I am confident that it can only get better.

I wish you all an optimistic, healthy, prosperous, creative and loving 2016.


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